Continued from 2/26/12 : We were talking about how some financial powerhouses like Oprah Winfrey, Warren Buffette and Bill Gates, Martha Stewart and Steve Jobs started out. How might they have handled self defeating feelings of negativity and doubt?
The thing they’ve likely done is either use those doubts or failings as learning experiences, to further their business or to “pivot” the failure and negative emotions that go with it into a more positive thought or productive experience.
One experience in my own life I can think of is my current issue with Google dropping several of my higher earning blogs from the higher rankings they used to have and instead favoring large corporate-fed sites that the little guys have a hard time competing with.
Of course, I went through a period of anger, frustration and ultimately, a feeling of defeat and the idea that “something bigger than me” was at work which I just couldn’t overcome.
However, once I got over those feelings of self-doubt, I realized that this hardship is forcing me to work on a business that I truly love, making a product that I make myself and own. So what if my credit report suffers a little from me having to rely on my credit cards a little heavily for a while before I embark on my money accumulation?
It’s a blessing in disguise, so to speak, and the fact that my other fall backs are now no longer producing enough to pay the mortgage has lit the proverbial fire under my butt to get the endeavor that I want to be my life’s work going on the fast track.
While in the interim of course, there are the bills and the money thing to worry about, I’ve considered that a sort of collateral damage and something that will eventually resolve itself. I no longer let the fear that I might not be able to pay the mortgage or other bills paralyze me to the point where I can’t even be productive or allow creative energy to flow through my mind and body in order to further my passion.
I noticed another self-defeating thought process I was involving myself in during the anger and feeling of helplessness phase of my current situation. I started to resent those that had financial abundance, which I associate with freedom, when I didn’t.
I started to resent celebrities and big names that seemed to have the life I wanted. But did they really? I had to stop and consider why I was feeling that, and how jealousy and envy are not productive feelings.
I felt ashamed of myself for feeling such brewing resentment, and that only made me feel more powerless and out of control of my emotions. Resentment, jealousy and envy are destructive emotions. They are telling your body that you want the life of someone else, or that you are not happy with your own.
Most of all though – they tell your mind that you don’t believe you are truly capable of great financial achievements, and that is why you are feeling the resentment toward others who have achieved it. This is self-defeat and these feelings create a self-fulfilled prophecy of consistent failure.
Money is money. It can’t buy you happiness. However, a lack of money can definitely make you unhappy. As Deepak Chopra has said, and most likely other wise men before him, poor people are not happy, but conversely the very rich are also often times not happy.
It’s finding that balance between your spiritual fulfillment, financial well-being, having “things” and material wealth, and feeling happy that is the most important thing in life. For me, my dreams will be fulfilled when I can actually help my family out more and be more generous with money when it comes to what really matters to me.
It’s more about security and freedom as well as being generous than anything else for me at this point. It’s not actually about the money – it’s about what money symbolizes to you in your life, being happy at your job, and loving what you do the majority of the time you are on this wonderful planet.